"Come, little leaves," said the wind one day.

its the holidays and what comes to mind when i actually sit down to type? child abuse. What brings this to the front of my thoughts is that the 6 year old little girl that i fostered then adopted had a little sister born on september 13th.
both are shown in the pictures. I was asked to go to the court hearing for the new baby and was asked for her to be placed with me. I had to say no because I have my own bundle due in january. the mother is still with the guy that threw dominique into a wall and bust her head open because she wouldnt do what she was told. I cant believe that she thought that they would let her keep this one. at any rate, both parents surrendered their rights to the new baby recently and she goes up for adoption on november 29th. they placed the baby into the custody of a sister to the father. and she wants to adopt her. ive met her, spent time with her and altogether think that she is a nice person. but she has a progressed sickle cell disease and has been in the hospital 6 weeks out of the past 3-4 months. I just dont think that they are going to let a single person with a disease that effects her life adopt a child like that. now they are asking me to adopt her so dominique will be able to grow up with her little sister. If a family from an agency adopts her, then they have no legal obligation to stay in touch with the birth family or relatives.
im torn only because of dominique, i couldnt give a crap about the others involved excluding the baby. Financially there is no reason why i couldnt. its more emotional and physical reality that i cant. ive already taken on so much. it kills me that these people are given the blessing of the ability to have a child. and they take it for granted. people microwaving babies and blaming it on everyone else including the devil..... how do they live with themselves?  anyways, this is where my thoughts lay today.

*Teddy Bear*

Teddy, I've been bad again,
My Mommy told me so;
I'm not quite sure what I did wrong,
But I thought that you might know.

When I woke up this morning,
I knew that she was mad;
'Cause she was crying awful hard,
And yelling at my dad.

I tried my best to be real good,
And do just what she said;
I cleaned my room all by myself,
I even made my bed.

But I spilled milk on my good shirt,
When she yelled at me to hurry;
And I guess she didn't hear me,
When I told her I was sorry.

'Cause she hit me awful hard, you see,
And called me funny names;
And told me I was really bad,
And I should be ashamed!

When I said, "I love you, Mommy,"
I guess she didn't understand;
'Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth
Or I'd get smacked again.

So I came up here to talk to you,
Please tell me what to do;
'Cause I really love my Mommy,
And I know she loves me, too.

And I don't think my Mommy means,
To hit me quite so hard;
I guess sometimes, grown-ups forget
How really big they are!

So Teddy, I wish you were real,
And you weren't just a bear;
Then you could help me find a way
To tell Mommies everywhere.

To please try hard to understand.
How sad it makes us feel;
'Cause the outside pain soon goes away,
But the inside never heals!

And if we could make them listen,
Maybe then they'd understand;
So other children just like me,
Wouldn't have to hurt again.

But for now, I guess I'll hold you tight,
And pretend the pain's not there;
I know you'd never hurt me,
So Goodnight, Teddy Bear!


"It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck than to face the punishment in store for harming one of these little ones."
Luke 17:2